Thursday, August 24, 2006

Porcelain goddess

Every morning for the past two weeks I've rolled out of bed nauseous. I sit at my computer at work nauseous. I fall into bed at the end of a long day praying I don't wake up nauseous. I'm not knocked up; I am worried. Genetically speaking, I come from a long line of worriers and usually manage to thwart fretting with the happy. Lately the foothold happiness has is spotty.

I worry about the friend who has tried to commit suicide twice in the past two weeks...about my ability to pay my now exorbitant electric bill...about the stupid financial mess I managed to put myself in...about my ability to accomplish all I want to accomplish at work...about the health of the family I never get to see...about the fact we won't pull out of a war that's killing us...about the fact that drinking sometimes sounds like a solution...about whether the boy I like likes me back...about the homeless people I pass every day.

I need to go throw up.

4 comments:

  1. I hate worrying. I hate how emotions can change you physically. It's so weird.
    I think that's why I'm so tired all the time... I get enough sleep but most of my waking hours are spent stressed out about something or worrying about someone/something.

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  2. I love the title of this post! Horrible when worrying grips you and it's so hard to shake off. I've felt like that the past couple of weeks but as soon as the sun came out and I went for a long walk it lifted. Worth a try!

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  3. I work that the forecast is for another 100 degree day. They say in August, there have only been 4 days less than 100. Three don't really count, because they were 99.

    Oy.

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  4. I am right there with ya baby. We need to let it go.

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