Friday, November 30, 2007

So last night I swear I could have gotten myself killed.

It's about 12:30, and I've been asleep for about 40 minutes. I wake up to hear someone trying to get inside my apartment. I blame my next thoughts/actions on being awoken. In my head I'm thinking this is Scarlet trying to get into my apartment. I think I think this because I know she is in the ffx area and plus I'm groggy. She has a key, but the deadlock is in place.

Anyway, I go to the door to let her in...looking out the peephole first. I see someone disappearing aound the corner. In my head I still think this is Scarlet, so I open the door and stick my head out. I then call out "I hope you're not a killer" and giggle.

Well, I'll be damned if some sketchy guy doesn't come back around the corner. I was shocked beyond shocked and think I still had the smile frozen on my face. Anyway, he's bumbling some kind of weird apology/excuse. I don't think I said anything at all. I just moved back into my house and locked both locks again. I slept with my sidekick under my pillow after that.

Crazy, huh? I'd like to think he was lost or drunk and not really trying to get into my apartment. If he was really trying to get in, I bet he's never come across anyone like me before...calling out to him and saying I hope you're not a killer.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

You cut me

I've been lost in thought a lot lately. I've been thinking about the little ways we cut the people who wander through our lives. Friends and loved ones whose lives so intertwine that sometimes it gets confusing as to where one begins and another ends. Connections that not only strengthen relationships and build closeness but that also sometimes wind up like twister. As bigger, more painful life experiences happen to us I wonder why these twists...these inadvertant cuts hurt like they do.

My goal for the holiday season is to embrace simplicity and attempt to cut those around me less (and take their cuts less personally).

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Let me in

I was alone pretty much the entire day and spent like 90% of it inside my apartment. When I realized my evening plans were falling through around 2:30, it hit me that it has actually been ages since I've been by myself for this long.

If I'm going to be honest, it was a bit unsettling. The thing is, while I'm good at being alone and don't lack for things to entertain me, I'm sometimes afraid of being left alone with my thoughts. An entire afternoon and evening to ponder the mistakes I've made in my life, what's missing and who I miss? Call me crazy, but I was a little wary.

That said, I kind of made the decision early on to have it so. It's always good to make sure you can stand yourself because you never know if you'll wind up alone later in life. hahaha...that might sound so negative, but it really wasn't meant to be. The only moment that could be construed as melodramatic was listening to a Decembrist mix (the slow shite) and lying on my couch.

In addition to listening to music, I (1) watched an episode and a half of Ugly Betty; (2) bought two pairs of shoes and a pair of magenta tights; (3) had a photoshoot with James; (4) watched Marissa die on the OC; (5) did laundry and dishes; (6) ate someone else's leftover spaghetti; (7) commented on Flickr photos; and (8) did a lot of thinking.

Not a bad day at all. Just not something I want to do all day, every day.