Sunday, May 29, 2005

Gypsy blood running through my veins

I know I'm a gypsy at heart because the urge to wander the globe is sewn
into the fiber of my being. I've always owned a car for the freedom and
potential for escape from my everyday existence that it offers. I don't
want to own a house because the thought of it seems so me to an area. Fly, drive, ride...just take me to
another place and culture. I'm jonesing for another adventure in a
major way right now.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Excuse me, Miss, you can't fly commando

God's effed up sense of humor struck again this morning. To cap off a
perfect week, imagine me hopping out of bed at 5:33 this morning
realizing I have to get my roommate to the airport for a 6:10 am
flight...a roommate who is also asleep in her bedroom waiting for me to
wake her up. Imagine a crazed scene with me grabbing clothes from the
dryer and throwing them in a suitcase, all the while assuring her that
we can make it and she claiming that this wasn't Amazing Race and that
we wouldn't make it. Imagine me taking 30 mph curves at 80 and speeding
down Reston Parkway running red lights where safe. As I sped into
Dulles Airport only 15 minutes later, threw on my hazards, and swung her
suitcase out of my car, I had a sinking feeling we were destined to fail
in this endeavor (time check: 5:59 am). Long story short...she missed
her flight, and I went to park my feeling like shit for having it happen
and hpong against hope that I wasn't going to have to volunteer to drive
her to Atlanta. She ended up catching a 7:30 flight out that put her in
Atlanta by 9:20...thank god. Of course, as I'm strolling through the
airport I realize how exposed I really am. I had ran out of the house
in nothing but my pajamas and
underwear...nothing. Thank goodness I wore my new pjs!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

evacuations, false alarms...the modern day 'duck and cover'?

I'm getting tired of living in a reactionary, fearful society. Minutes ago both the White House and the U.S. Capitol were evacuated because a small aircraft was headed into restricted air space. As typical of our post-9/11 society, we were gathered immediately in our conference room and briefed on this threat. Evacuation plans began to solidify and it was advised that we all get out fast (I work close to the White House). As terrified people (recently whipped into a frenzy by this news) scrambled about to find rides, gather belongings, and call loved ones, we were reminded to grab our phones, laptops, and of course our face mask and flashlights. I, on the other hand, was left wondering why it all has to be like this. I refuse to live my life in fear. I know we should all be careful and take the necessary precautions, but when will we eventually realize that running to the 'burbs won't necessarily save us. Shouldn't we live right, be good with God, and sometimes stand our ground saying, 'Bring it on.'?

Tuesday, May 10, 2005


Rape has been on my mind a lot lately, and I've been dancing around
posting about this. There are so many things that could be said about
the subject, but I primarily want to talk about my reaction to people,
stories, and things I've read. To sum it up in a neat sentence...I
experience extreme fits of rage when confronted with the horrors we
inflict on others, particularly men on women in the form of rape. And I
do mean extreme anger. It's my reaction I want to focus on, but to do
that, we need to go back to what triggers this anger.
I've always considered rape one of the worst forms of torture and, at
one point, used to think I'd rather die than face that. Looking back I
realize my feelings on this may have always been abnormally strong. I
say abnormally because I don't often hear women near me express as much
outrage as I feel.
This particular post was triggered by a series of occurances in
nonchronological order.
(1) A recently acquired acquaintance (male) seems to have a penchant for
making rape jokes. I don't find this funny and am actually disturbed by
it. I am left without a way to respond. If I actually thought he
himself were a threat, I would do something about it. The problem is
that I think he's basically a nice guy with a few weird personality
(2) I also don't know why I subject myself to Law and Order Special
Victims always pisses me off.
(3) Then there was the book, The Natashas, about the new sex trade.
Particularly disturbing were reports in the book of abuses perpetrated
by the U.S. military, UN workers, police, etc.
(4) A good friend of my boss was raped about 6 weeks ago and the
roommate of the daughter of the president of my organization was, too.
I felt so much pain for these women...too much considering I didn't even
know them. I still have trouble shaking my boss's friend from my mind.
(5) An article in Ms. Magazine, "Not Women Anymore...", was the straw
that broke the camel's back. The article detailed the rape of millions
of women in the Congo as a weapon of war. It talked of gang rapes of
women...mothers, daughters, children. Of rape that destroyed their
internal organs because they were often raped with objects like
bayonets, branches, etc. It also referenced this as a trend as it
recalled Rwanda and now the Darfur.
I read this last article on a metro ride home and was so enraged that
the site of the men on the train made me physically ill. I wanted them
to hurt the way these women had just because their gender. And this
acquaintance...if I had seen him at that moment, I probably would have
punched him. I've never punched someone in my entire life, but I was
pretty enraged.
I feel like I should end with some big psychoanalysis on why this brings
out so much anger in me and why men rape; however, typing all of this
and dredging up these emotiond has drained me. I'll leave all of this
as something to ponder.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Pass the cheese please

Ever like those cheesy songs but are embarrassed to say so? On my lunch break I was reminded of two songs I think are hilarious. I love their "get over it" pessimistic attitude. I'm tlaking about Stephen Stills Love the One You're With and Meatloaf's Two Out of Three Ain't Bad. Now, I'm not sure if it's the original Meatloaf version I'm thinking of, but none-the-less, I've included bits of the lyrics to both songs below because I like them and because I want to.

Two Out of Three Ain't Bad
Baby we can talk all night
But that ain't gettin us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can
There's nothing left inside of here

And maybe you can cry all night
But that'll never change the way I feel
The snow is really piling up outside
I wish you wouldn't make me leave here

I poured it on and I poured it out
I tried to show you just how much I care
I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout
But you've been cold to me so long
I'm crying icicles instead of tears

And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you, I need you
But-there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

Love the One You're With
If you're down, and confused
And you don't remember, who you're talkin' to
Concentration slips away
'Cause your baby is so far away

And there's a rose, in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies, with the dove
And if you can't be, with the one you love
Love the one you're with

Don't be angry, don't be sad
Don't sit cryin' over good times you had
There's a girl, right next to you
And she's just waitin', for something to do

Turn your heartache right into joyS
he's a girl, and you're a boy
So get it together, make it nice
You ain't gonna need, any more advice