Real story with male customer yesterday:
(while looking up books by a particular author)
him: Is that tattoo on your hand permanent?
me: It is.
him: I like your earrings.
me: Thanks. The robots match the one on my leg.
him: Really? Let me see. (leaning over customer service counter)
me: (pulling up my skirt to show tattoo)
me: Well, it looks like the only book by the author you gave me is How to Get a Woman in Bed. (and I start cracking up hard core)