Last night I spent an hour and a half in the Bass Pro Shop searching for waterproof boots or waders to encase my large feet. After struggling with more than my fair share of boots, I finally determined that it wasn't the size of my foot that was keeping me from finding something to keep my feet dry in the middle of a river but was instead my extremely high instep.
Photo by Luigi Anzivino
Not to be defeated, I marched over to the waders. As I combed through the display, pulling and stretching as necessary, I wondered if I could indeed pull them off. Before giving it too much more thought, the box was in my hand, and I was dodging holiday shoppers on my way to the fitting room.
Photo by Welliefreak
Well, boys and girls, it was not a pretty site. Do you remember that episode of Friends where Ross wears a pair of new leather pants on a date? That was me in the dressing room. I've never made sausage, but I reckon I now know what it's like to shove sausage into that casing. Clearly, neoprene is not for me.