Wednesday, June 21, 2006

My love muscle's weak

I have a weak love muscle. My heart just breaks all the damned time...for loved ones, people I'm only acquainted with, the average joe on the street. I used to think this fact meant that I was fated for a life of public service, giving back to those I empathized with. I'm beginning to think it means I'm going to waste too much time crying over people I don't even know and probably wouldn't like me anyway.

Actually, I take that back. I think my heart usually aches and breaks for the right reasons and people. It's just an email I got last night really sent me off on one of my "thinking" binges. As I was about to lay my head on my pillow I decided to quickly check my email one last time. A new friend* has a bitch** for a wife. They've been separated, and evidently last night she told him she was dating a new guy and didn't want him around. He's pretty messed up over it and rightly so. Just hearing about it made me lose sleep. Any drowsiness I had was gone, and I couldn't stop my mind from spinning. I couldn't help but think about my brother and how he'd had to go through the same thing. He was young and in love, and some country #$*&@ trampled on his heart. They got married and all of a sudden she stops working and sits on her ass at home all day. Mind you...she was 19 at the time with no kids and no plans to attend school. While my brother was busting his ass working to support them, even having to drop out of college, she was at the apartment evidently meeting men online. I won't get into the whole sordid tale, but I'm glad my brother pushed through his broken heart and had the courage to kick that ho to the curb.

*If you happen to read this friend, this is the best description I could come up with for you.
**Dear friend, I do apologize for using this word, but all I know of her are the shitty things she has done to you.


  1. That seriosuly made my heart hurt.

  2. Mine, too. That's horrible. Some women are complete idiots.

    We're nothing like them, yet we're the ones who are still single... what's wrong with this picture?

  3. Some people are lazy sell-outs and want nothing more than to be miserable and inflict their misery on other people. It is painful, but best for your friend to accept reality and just leave. I do know what you mean about hurting for even strangers... I find myself doing it all the time. It's what makes you strong.

  4. There is a shortage of big hearted people in the world, it's nice to bump into one!

  5. i think you should be proud to have an empathetic and feeling heart. there are people out there who have no one to care for them; we need people like you.

    this is the reason why, even though i am not all that religious, at temple, i always stand and say the mourners prayer, even if i haven't lost anyone recently, because there are people who have lost everyone, people who have no one to care for or mourn their loss...

    i don't know, that's what came to mind. you also get back what you put out there, and if that is love and empathy, then that's a good thing.

    also, an over-active mind is a hard thing to deal with...i get that.

  6. My heart would break too if I had a friend going through that mess. Damn, some folks just ain't right.