Thursday, July 28, 2005

The schizophrenic jukebox in my head

As usual I'm sitting in front of the computer this morning thinking about what on earth to blog about. I don't know why other people blog/lj, but it gives me a chance to give all that crap floating around in my head a home. If I write it down or "say" it publicly, then it is less likely to continue plaguing me throughout the day, keeping me from that thing called work. This morning all I can think about is LOVE. I have a friend who I believe is falling in love...hell, she may already be at the bottom trying to catch her breath. Seeing her go through this makes me feel like I'm on one of those scary rides at the amusement park. I'm all excited about the possibilities for her. Let's face an amazing (albeit fucked up) feeling, that thing called love. At the same time, I've got that fear of all the things that could go terribly wrong. It's that point on the ride where you think you really might die. In a friendship, it's not wanting to see her hurt. Finally, I'm feeling a bit melancholy and reminiscent. I'm not sure you actually get this feeling on a scary ride (maybe after it's over), but whatever. I got to thinking about my past love (because let's face it...there's only been one real one) and how great it was. Remembering how young we were and how much we learned his mind turned me on as much as anything else he did...the look he gave me the last time we parted...the scars I left on him, so he won't ever forget me...the internal scars he left on me so I won't ever forget him.

Anyway, friend, if you're reading this I leave you with one piece of advice.

Buy the ticket, take the ride. It's worth it.

1 comment:

  1. what perfectly beautiful advice