Sunday, April 16, 2006
**WARNING** The following may be hazardous to your health
Selfishness may feel good at the outset but once done starts to rot and mold like the dank underbelly where the thought originates. The problem is that giving so much of yourself sucks sometimes, too. You give until they expect it...until they take advantage...until you begin to lose a little part of yourself. I'm tired of giving so freely, of leaving myself open. I want to be one of the first thoughts and not one of the last resorts. Selfish thoughts stomp around my head as I think of taking more for me. I dream of ignoring them ignoring me. I think all of these horrid thoughts and then remember that it's Easter. I remember that today is the day we celebrate the fact that He is risen, that He gave of himself selflessly. I remember that no matter how much I take from Him and ignore Him that the giving, the selflessness, is still there. It's unconditional. And maybe that's what my giving should be...unconditional.
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I relate to this post a lot. Sometimes I give so much that I give myself away entirely. It's a frustrating, lonely feeling.
ReplyDeleteit is good to give, but you need to take something away from the situation to replenish yourself. If all you do is give, soon you will be empty, nothing left inside to give. Remember you are a vessel, and there has to be something put inside you before you can give it out.
ReplyDeleteI like Easter...I didn't realize places closed though.
ReplyDeleteI also like to be selfish. And giving. I like to do it all.